It starts with the Little things.
Have you spent hours looking for a Key only to discover you left it in the fridge instead of in the living room? ( I don’t mean when you were pregnant. I mean on regular days).
How did you feel? You wasted time and energy right? Or maybe you even yelled at your kids or missed an appointment right? Or you showed up late to the event, looking so disorganized after making effort to be there on time right? We’ve all had this experience at one point in time or the other. That’s why – “Doing it Right the First time; this principle of paying attention to the little things” is important if you want to live above the Overwhelm.
I recall as a single woman, I had a flat mate who always sang this message in my ears “Everything has its place. Put it there“. The moment I became a Mom,this Life Hack became a life saver! No one needed to tell me to adopt this strategy If I wanted to remain sane. I reached out to her about it recently and we had a good laugh. We are both moms now so we both know this strategy is the only way forward. So let’s get right into it! P.S – If you haven’t read the older version, you need to check it out. Click Here
1. So Pro Tip No. 1 Everything has its place. In the Business environment and according to ISO 9001 Standard which promotes “a right first time” approach, we say – Do it right *THE FIRST TIME* For us as Mom, I’ll say – *Put it in the right place the first time!*
The amount of time you will save if you adopt this strategy is unquantifiable! You save time, energy and money too! Not just that, you also save yourself and those around you emotional stress. You won’t be cranky and tense, yelling and screaming all around the house because you know just where the things you need per time are placed.( At least a lot of times).
Placing things in their right place at all times has to become part of your Daily routine. A habit that you need to adopt or incorporate as A WAY OF LIFE. Not just once in a while but all the time. This is Life Hack 101 preventing avoidable outbursts, anger and transferred aggression since forever. It is part of the strategies that can give you this Peace of mind and help you live above the Overwhelm.
So avoid being anxious every time you’re looking for your car key, your charger your Remote, socks, underwear for the kids, scissors, comb, glasses 🤓🙈 for those of us that use glasses – Say Hi… 🤓. If you haven’t been doing this, perhaps this is a good time to review. This is your cue to get to work! Always put things in their right place. Everything has its place! Do it right the first time. No point shouting at your kids every time if they don’t comply. Simply start modelling it. gradually everybody will align. Whenever they are looking for something sing it in their ears – Everything has its place.
2. Pro Tip 2 – Operate your Home like an Organisation: Adopt Systems that make organisations work.
Did you know you can operate your home Like an Organisation? I’m sure you’re wondering how right? No, Don’t worry I don’t mean the bureaucratic approach to things or sending long emails. What I mean is adopting systems that make organisations work in your Home.
For Instance: Organizations have a strategic meeting to plan. This applies to us too as Moms. You can sit with yourself and plan or sit with your Key Stakeholders in the person of Your Husband, Support Staff, and Children to discuss and devise a plan that will ensure things run smoothly at home.
Organisations have Evaluation or Appraisal Tools – We can appraise our Home and check the areas that aren’t working. Why are we spending so much on this particular product when we can get it somewhere else cheaper? If we spend xyz amount of money on fuel maybe we should consider getting a Solar System instead.
Organisations evaluate their Teams – You can evaluate your Team – Your kids. Which skills do they need, where do they need improvement, How am I doing with my Children? Which areas do my Children need to improve on? You can sit with yourself and apprise yourself every week or month as your time permits.
Organisations have One on Ones with Team Members – You can have a One-on-One session with your Husband and Kids. Offcourse this has to be Void of any formalities and you’re definitely not going to call it that name but it should achieve the goal. Discuss what you want to see, your expectations, and your aspirations. Listen, negotiate, dialog etc. Of course, It should be done at strategic times when the atmosphere is free of tension or any issues. I can go on and on. I am sure when you think more about this, more examples will come to mind. This does not mean there still won’t be challenges, it just helps to be more efficient which leads to a happy wife, mom, and a better human as a whole. You free up space to easily access the Supernatural Peace that God has already made available to you.
3. BOUNDARIES – To be able to live above the overwhelm and walk in Supernatural Peace, knowing your limits and setting Boundaries is critical. As women we mostly have a tendency to be Yes people. It is our default setting particularly if you are African or better put “a Nigerian woman“. We have been groomed to say Yes to everything. Yes to giving everyone access to us, yes to all tasks and responsibilities at home, at work, in church etc.
But you see, it’s a slippery slope. A quick way, infact one of the fastest ways to be overwhelmed and lose the supernatural Peace God has already made available to you! If you say yes to everything, your mind becomes a busy battlefield, constantly racing with no time to breathe just like busy bees racing to get honey.
You don’t have to pick every call. You don’t have to respond to every message at least not immediately. You don’t have to participate in all trends and happenings in society except you run a Business where it is required for you to show empathy because your customers are observing by speaking about the issue
4. APPLY THE TIME MANAGEMENT MATRIX
Again l will use the Business environment, as our comparison tool. In Organisations employees (particularly Managers ) are taught the concept of Time Management Matrix. They teach them because they are managers of people and resources. They need to be as efficient as possible. You woman, You Mother are an Institution running an Organisation called YOUR HOME. You are managing some of the Most important people that will become world changers. You need your peace, you need to be efficient and know where to draw the Line where necessary. You too need to apply the time management matrix where necessary. So what strategies can we use
The Time Management Matrix
Urgent & Important
Important but not Urgent
Not important but Urgent
Neither Important nor Urgent
As we push to walk in SuperNatural peace, pay attention to this matrix so as to keep your peace intact. Some things are urgent and important; they require your immediate attention. Others are important but not urgent, we can do them later and the list goes on. Some tasks need to be Delegated, others eliminated
5. REVIEW & REVAMP YOUR RELATIONSHIPS. Do a “Spring Clean” of your relationships and start drawing the line where necessary. It is important to approach relationships strategically or better put, with wisdom so you don’t become a dumping ground for baggage that doesn’t concern you and most importantly so your peace is protected. Family relationships are some of the most challenging to manage I understand but that’s even the more reason to know where to draw the line.
As they say it is Poor Hygiene to give everyone access to you. Even in Family groups, be quiet sometimes. Have time for replying to Family Messages. Let people know that there are certain times you won’t be available to pick calls or reply messages except It is urgent or an emergency. This includes Family and even friends. If every time your emotional, mental, spiritual battery is drained when you interact with this person perhaps it’s time to limit or pray this person out of your life or hold the wheels of the conversation to make sure it stays positive. Control Access
Jesus understood this principle. He served with all of his heart, gave himself like no one would ever be able to do but he also knew where to draw the line. He would leave the “crowd” and go into hiding. He knew where to draw the line. Even with his inner circle friend Peter.
Help Children Understand this Concept too!You’ll be shocked that even Children can start Learning this concept of Boundaries. But if you don’t even draw the line in the first place how will they learn? Simple examples of Boundaries is – 7:00pm Bed BedTime. Mummy needs to rest. Or Sunday is mummy’s quiet day. She doesn’t want to be disturbed. Of Course children will be children and they will still bother you anyway but with time they will learn to respect it.
6. AIM FOR BALANCE – I Love how therapistAid.com puts it “Personal boundaries are the limits and rules we set for ourselves within relationships. A person with healthy boundaries can say “no” to others when they want to, but they are also comfortable opening themselves up to intimacy and close relationships”.
So far I have tried to talk about practical strategies of course there are Supernatural strategies too. Praying that we have grace and wisdom to balance the two.
If you need a Book to help you on this topic, please check out this Book – Boundaries Updated and Expanded Edition: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life
With Love,
Morolake
Excerpts from thoughts shared with Moms @proactiveprayingmums community